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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  December 1, 2011 12:00am-1:05am EST

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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel here with taylor kitsch, the star of the new disney movie "john carter." when does this come out? >> not until march. but i brought you the world premiere here. >> jimmy: the movie again is called "john carter." here's the trailer with taylor. >> let them be crushed.
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>> you killed him with one blow. when i saw you, i believed that something new had come into this world. >> you are john carter of earth? >> yes, ma'am. ♪ >> what happened to this place? >> a new power threatens to destroy our city. >> that don't look like a fair fight. >> he will fight for us. >> get on. >> we did not cause this. but we will end it! i was too late once. i won't be again.
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>> jimmy: there you go. very nice. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with jim parsons, music from my morning jacket, and this guy, taylor kitsch. lasting, too. yeah, i could really use this silverado. i'm a big hunter. oh, what do you hunt? deer. fish. fantastic. ♪ this holiday, chevy's giving more. now qualified buyers can get 0% apr for 72 months on a 2011 chevy silverado. or 0% apr financing for 60 months plus no monthly payments until spring. ♪ that's what people could say if you're still using a iquid foundation that can settle into your lines and wrnkles and make you look older. covergirl and olay floats above lines and makes you look younger. can your anti-aging makeup do that? simply ageless from olay and easy, breezy beautiful, covergirl. chase freedom gives you 5% cash back? at restaurants now...
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jim parsons. taylor kitsch. and music from my morning jacket. with cleto and the cletones. and now, don't worry. here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's very nice, thank you. thank you, cleto. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching at home. thank you for coming out tonight.
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be honest. how many of you are just here because you got kicked out of occupy l.a.? probably heard, after two months, the lapd broke up the occupy protest outside city hall here in los angeles last night. which means it's time for the homeless people to go back to the library, where they belong. police in riot gear came in after midnight and ordered the protesters out of the area. the situation was nothing, if not tense. >> the crowd is quite agitated because they believe an eviction is imminent. they have circled, joined hands around what they call the last tent to go. this is right in the middle of the encampment. what is this for? >> uh -- what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was late. surprisingly, the police didn't find any drugs on the premises. which means that the police are not very good at finding drugs. [ laughter ] that shot -- that actually
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shocked me, no drugs at occupy l.a. like raiding a karaoke bar and not finding any koreans. [ laughter ] some of our local news channels covered the action live last night and the protesters seemed to fall into one of two categories. one group was made up of passionate citizens who are angry about the relationship between corporations and government. and the other group was people like this. >> are you guys refusing to leave when the officers show up? what is your plan? >> i plan on leaving. because i can't stay, i have some other things i have to do. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think -- wake up early and watch my kerchief in the morning. so, he got out of there. almost 300 people were arrested because they refused to leave. but there was very little violence. the only thing the government does well these days is kick people out of parks. it is kind of funny, riot police arrested hundreds of people outside city hall, still less violent than black friday at every walmart in america.
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[ laughter ] so -- occupy l.a. encampment is over and with it, the world's longest hackey sack game comes to an end. now the park can be returned to its rightful owners -- crack salesmen. meanwhile, in new york tonight, the annual lighting of the christmas tree. a dozen protesters are living in the tree right now. [ laughter ] something like 250,000 people camped out to see the tree get all lit up like kathie lee and hoda. cee-lo green was on hand to sing, because i can think of no better way than to celebrate the birth of christ than the guy that sings the "f-you" song. in case you missed it, here's the annual lighting of the christmas tree. >> oh my god!
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oh. one of new york's brightest. >> jimmy: i think it may have been the wrong tape. [ laughter ] but either that or people are very excited about this tree. they say the best way to get a naked guy off the roof of your cab is just to floor it. tonight was the last night of november, december is here and there's a lot to get done. my family decided, i don't know who decided this, but they decided to have a white elephant gift exchange. i'm not exactly sure how it works. all i know is that it will definitely cause a fight that will last until next christmas. there's a lot to know and a lot to keep track of around the holidays and no one knows more than my aunt chippy. she's a fountain of knowledge and cheer and tonight, she shares her wisdom with all of us in a new segment we call "dear aunt chippy." ♪ >> hi, this is aunt chippy, answering your holiday e-mailed questions. let's see what we got today.
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dear aunt chippy, at my office, we do a secret santa. that's nice. the maximum spending limit is $25. but there is no minimum spending limit. is it okay if i only spend $2 for a cute little knickknack i find at target? you cheap bastard. you shouldn't even be in the secret santa. i hope you get something that's worth a piece of [ bleep ] penny. because that's all you deserve, you cheap son of a bitch. merry christmas. >> if you have a question, e-mail dearauntchippy@gmail.com. >> jimmy: she's a real katie couric. herman cain this afternoon vowed to stay in the presidential race, no matter how many people he has sex with. [ laughter ] there's talk he might hang it up after another woman came forward, ginger white. for some reason, she decided to go on tv and tell everyone that she and mr. cain have been
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involved in an extramarital affair for the last 13 or 14 years. cain denies that they're anything more than friends and called her a troubled woman. which, of course she's a troubled woman. she slept with herman cain for the last 13 years. [ laughter ] ginger white claims that cain has been giving her money and gifts for years but she says it was not a sex for money arrange pt. it was purely a sex for pizza arrangement. [ laughter ] the hermanator appeared on fox news and in a round about way, was asked if he had any other ginger whites to look for. >> are there any others that might be coming forward? >> i was in business for over 40 years. i have worked with and helped a lot of people, male and female. there is no way for me to say unequivocally. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not sure i heard that correct. there's no way for you to say
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what? >> there is no way for me to say unequivocally. >> jimmy: i can't say it, either. so, you're move, rick perry. by the way, good wishes to our parking lot security guard guillermo, who, right now, is at the hospital, having his first child. [ cheers and applause ] on the way to the hospital this morning, guillermo's tequila broke and they had to -- [ laughter ] usually the wife has the baby but he's always full of surprises, guillermo. filling in for guillermo tonight is cory, who plays chewbacca out on hollywood boulevard. thank you, cory. [ applause ] coming in at the last minute. do you have any kids yourself? >> no. >> jimmy: are you married, have a girlfriend, anything like that? >> ah -- not yet. >> jimmy: not yet. have you ever held a child? have you ever -- >> ah -- aye held them, but like, they're pretty fragile. >> jimmy: yeah, you have to be very careful. have you ever changed a diaper? >> no.
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>> jimmy: you haven't. would you like to go visit guillermo in the hospital to see the new baby with me? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and maybe they will let you pick the baby up. >> yeah, i can pick him up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it would be a nice surprise. in other celebrity baby news, kourtney kardashian has announced today that she is pregnant with guillermo's second child. [ laughter ] she said -- she said a sweet thing, she said she wanted to have kids ever since she found out they start with the letter k. but the e net work is already making plans to integrate the new addition into the kardashian tv family. >> kourtney kardashian's fetus is only a few weeks old. but it's already got attitude. go way inside your favorite tv family. fetus kardashian. kicking it fallopian. followed by an all-new "bruce jenner's uterus." only on e. >> jimmy: he has one of those?
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[ applause ] i had no idea. oh, hey, speaking of the kardashians, barbara walters, every year she does this most fascinating people list and she's released some of the names. sure enough, the kardashians are among them. the kardashians and donald trump. i think barbara's fascinometer may be broken. is this a barbara walters special or a launch party for a new vodka? have you been watchi ing "the rl housewives" of atlanta? over the weekend, you know the ladies celebrated thanksgiving with us, just as the pilgrims did, by hiring a male stripper. it was for candy's 35th birthday. they named a stripper named ridiculous. [ laughter ] guillermo, i think, is thinking about that as the name for his baby. and i aridiculous got the job b he has a very unusual talent.
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>> oh, my goodness. oh. >> ridiculous has the amazing ability to pleasure himself on demand. >> really didn't expect a stripper that was going to suck his on [ bleep ]. it was nasty. i mean, that's -- that's -- that's [ bleep ] up. >> jimmy: and again, this was the thanksgiving episode. [ laughter ] you know, that's a great clip, i couldn't help but think we could make it better. we took the audio from that clip and combined it from video from "the flintstones" and now i think it's something the whole family can enjoy. >> okay, everyone, it's time for a big surprise. >> oh, my goodness. >> ridiculous has the amazing ability to pleasure himself on demand.
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>> really didn't expect a stripper that was going to -- >> suck his own [ bleep ]. it was nasty. i mean, that's just -- that's [ bleep ] up. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we have may added a part. one-step process back then. just remove the pelt and that was it. and one more thing. a few months ago, after an exhaustive search of the halls, we found a new correspondent for the show. gentleman named kyle mooney and he's here. hi, kyle. i saw kyle online and i liked his style. i like your style, kyle. >> i -- just trying to do what i do, mr. kimmel. >> jimmy: well, it's great to have you. kyle did so well in his last assignment -- have you met chewbacca? >> say what's up to the big hairy -- >> jimmy: and we asked him to
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visit the north american reptile breeder conference. they have a big conference here in los angeles and you and your friend dave made this tape by yourselves? >> bad boy for all the big town hollywoods. >> jimmy: all right. here he is, kyle moony at the reptile show. >> welcome to the reptile convention. you know what i'm talking about. fierce, slimy. these creatures are both good at night and at day. let's talk to the people to see if they are really the best creatures for reptiles in this year. like rep times? >> oh, of course. >> one month old and already two reptile shows. >> wow. and how is that by you? pretty soon you might want to see him with the scales. >> hopefully not.
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>> what did you pick up? >> a frog. >> oh. that's -- that's -- that looks just like the real thing. could hop out of here. >> it does indeed. >> when was the first time for some of these guys? >> what? >> when was the first time for some of these guys -- >> the first slime for -- >> i'm sorry, i can't hear you. >> when was the first slime for one of these guys. >> the first time? um? >> look at this. you can see through the grains that these were the first that came to the earth and still survive to this day. very unique breed. >> it's still hard to imagine in this day and age that people ar afraid to touch snakes because they think they're slimy.
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>> they're not slimy because of the scales. >> yeah, exactly. >> it's not that slimy. >> they're covered with scales. >> used to be covered with smile. >> they were never covered with slime. >> one of the biggest rep times they have here, right? ride that out into the sun. >> that would be awesome. >> how did you get into the slime fellows? global, just working with mitch. >> bow ball on, yeah, yeah. i know -- i know those dudes. it's a nice day out here with these slimers? >> it's what? >> nice day out here with these green slimers. >> i don't -- what?
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>> nice day out here with these green slimers. >> green timers? >> nice day out here with these green slimers. >> nice out here with these green slimers? >> it's a reptile show. >> yes, it's awesome. >> all right, okay. >> yeah, i don't know what you're asking about. >> you have to be careful. you have to start very slowly. just, you know, stroking them and i advice wearing a -- after awhile they're fine. >> you saw it here. rep times, all those little creatures and their funny human friend counterparts. hopefully we get to have another good time like that once again. [ applause ] >> jimmy: excellent work, kyle. kyle, everybody.
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we have a good show for you tonight. from the movie "john carter," taylor kitsch is here. we have music from my morning jacket. and we'll be right back with jim parsons, so stick around. this new at&t 4g lte is fast. hey, two tickets just opened up on the 50. ...yup, about to go pick them up from will call. so 46 seconds ago. did you guys hear that chapman rolled his ankle? done. get out there. so 12 seconds ago. you guys know how to post videos to facebook? you guys know how to post videos to facebook? you guys hear, someone stole... ...stole the other team's mascot? [ tiger growling ] so 27 seconds ago. [ male announcer ] stay a step ahead with 4g lte. with speeds up to 10x faster than 3g. at&t.
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>> jimmy: well, hi, everyone. welcome back. wonderful to have you. tonight on the show, the star of the forth coming movie "john carter," taylor kitsch is here. and then, with music from this, their latest album ca, my morni jacket, from the bud light stage. tomorrow night, you can see them live at the gibson theater here in los angeles. tomorrow night, we will be joined by matthew morrison from
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"glee," maggie cue and we'll have music from yelawolf. join us then. our first guest tonight is a two-time emmy award winning actor who is taking a quick break from the geeks and nerds on "the big bang theory" to cavort with frogs and pigs in the new movie "the muppets." it is in theaters now. please say hello to jim parsons. [ cheers and applause ] >> you have a very enthusiastic crowd. >> jimmy: they are. well, some of them are wearing shirts with your face on it. >> oh, my god. thank you. um -- it's nice to meet you. >> jimmy: nice to meet you, too. we have not met before. >> we haven't. i was thinking -- i've known who you were for years now. i watched "ben stein's money." of course i saw you.
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and the one thing that occurred to me was, were you frequently in your underwear on that show? >> jimmy: probably. >> okay, because i was afraid it was like a one-time thing and it made such an impression on me that i assumed that you were always in it which still may be true and says so many bad things about me. >> jimmy: when you have a body like mine, you share it with others. >> and people remember it. >> jimmy: honestly, i know i was in my underwear a few times. mood, he was losing or ad something, i would take my clothes off and he would again be delighted. >> oh, of course. of course. do you still speak to ben? >> jimmy: i do. >> really? how did you meet him to get on that? >> jimmy: well, i just auditioned for it. >> oh, you did? >> jimmy: i had to audition in my underwear, too. >> hired. >> jimmy: he's very hands on. >> you know, you don't think of ben stein like that. >> jimmy: no. >> i like -- >> jimmy: i think of him like that. >> well, of course you were. >> jimmy: how old you were when you were watching that show? >> in high school, probably. >> jimmy: how old you are now? >> i'm 38 now.
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>> jimmy: really? i would have guessed -- you look very young. >> i do. i do. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. that's not good, though, when you're younger, you don't want to look very young. >> no, it sucks. i'm telling you -- i don't do anything that i get i.d.ed for -- i don't drink anymore -- >> jimmy: when was the last time you got carded? >> probably -- four -- when i stopped smoking, which was three or four years ago. and that's the one that cracked me up. you not only have to be 18 to smoke and i was literally 34 years old. i'm not kidding. being carded in a 7-eleven. it frustrated me so. i understood to a degree but i thought, 18? i'm 34. i put it down and they always look at it like, oh, whoa. and then they -- i think they think it's fake again. because it's like -- why would you overshoot that far, you know? i'm nearing 40. >> jimmy: like "16 candles."
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>> a weird sid wagtuation. >> jimmy: when i was 16, i got a fake idea that said i was 19 and the drinking age was 21 and my fake idea grew into 21. it's a great tip for kids out there. >> really. talk about patience being a virtue. that really pains off if you are willing to put in the time. >> jimmy: you have to put in the time. you just have to. >> it's worth it, you know? that's the kind of thing you want to wait for. >> jimmy: wind up on television in your underpants all the time. was it hard to get jobs and stuff as a younger person looking that young? >> you know -- i don't think so, but looking back, i was a bank teller, was really my first major job i had. >> jimmy: how old were you? >> 19 to 20. so -- i didn't look just young and dumb, i looked young and honest, you know? i still look pretty honest. >> jimmy: yeah, you do. >> so, they would, i think that was -- people were comfortable
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letting me handle money or whatever. somewhat foolishly. i was a bad bank teller. only that i would never -- my drawer was never balanced because i was bad at putting in the figures. i was very honest with the money and i could count, so, i didn't actually mess up with the bills but my totals, i would be $10,000 one way or the other. extra zeros. >> jimmy: what kind of a bank did you work in? >> i think it was called first interstate, but it was in a grocery store. >> jimmy: so you are next to the dog food -- >> in the middle of all. >> jimmy: okay. in the front area -- >> a very weird. >> jimmy: with the dura flame logs? >> i was close to a neighborhood where i grew up. i've grown less friendlier the older i've gotten, because i wouldn't want to see those people. i know your mom, i don't care. >> jimmy: you feel like you have grown less friendly. do you think -- >> i know i have. >> jimmy: is that because of being on television or just -- >> i'm just getting can tanker
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rouse. >> jimmy: your fans, they seem a little bit extra, like, excited. >> yes, they are. and most -- 99.9% of the time it is heaven. but -- i was in new york over the past summer and i was in a restaurant with three of my friends and there was this woman who -- ending is kind of spoiled because we know we're talking about fans. i didn't know. suddenly, i hear jim and this woman is rushing towards me and she seems so, i'm like, oh, my god, i'm like, hi! and my friends are going, who is this? an old teacher? i'm like, did we work together, did we date? what happened? no. so, she -- she's hugging me and kisses me on the face and all of a sudden, she's talking, i don't know her at all. i got so -- i was like, i've been so duped. this is like this woman's thing, you know? she comes up and pretends that she knows you and you're too nice to be rude and go, who the hell are you? before you get any wits about
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you, she's embraced you and kissed you and you have the flu or whatever she's carrying. so, that's not good. i'm glad she likes the show. this is a wonderful distance we're keeping from me and the shirts, you know? >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. we'll be right back. jim is in "the muppets," it's in theaters now. we'll be right back. male optimue and...an apology card. this is ridiculous. yeah, and it's got apps. nice. it's got vudu, twitter, facebook. no honey, not facebook. ♪ honey, you think my sweater's horrendous? cats don't skate. i think it kicks butt. [ male announcer ] get low prices on the gifts they love, like lg tvs with the latest technology. backed by our christmas price guarantee. save money. live better. walmart.
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and here's my depression. before i started taking abilify, i was taking an antidepressant alone. most of the time i could pull myself together and face the day. but other days, i still struggled with my depression. i was coping, but sometimes it really weighed me down. i'd been feeling stuck for a long time. i just couldn't shake my depression. so i talked to my doctor, and he added abilify to my antidepressant. he said it could help with my depression, and that some people had symptom improvement as early as 1 to 2 weeks. i'm glad i talked to him. i wish i'd done it sooner. now i feel more in control of my depression. [ male announcer ] abilify is not for everyone. call your doctor if your depression worsens or you have unusual changes in behavior
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hey, jessica, jerry neumann with a policy question. jerry, how are you doing? fine, i just got a little fender bender. oh, jerry, i'm so sorry.
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i would love to help but remember, you dropped us last month. yeah, you know it's funny. it only took 15 minutes to sign up for that new auto insurance company but it's taken a lot longer to hear back. is your car up a pole again? [ crying ] i miss you, jessica! jerry, are you crying? no, i just, i bit my tongue. [ male announcer ] get to a better state. state farm. ♪ am i a man
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♪ or am i a muppet ♪ am i a muppet ♪ if i'm a muppet ♪ well i'm a very manly muppet ♪ am i a muppet ♪ muppet ♪ or am i a man ♪ am i a man ♪ in i'm a man ♪ that makes me a muppet of a man ♪ ♪ a muppet of a man ♪ here i go again ♪ i'm always running out of time ♪ ♪ i think i made up my mind ♪ now i understand who i am >> jimmy: that's jim parsons with jason segel in "the muppets," in theaters now. you said when -- [ applause ] i think i heard you say when we started the clip that you haven't seen that. >> that's my very first time seeing that. >> jimmy: you haven't seen the movie? >> no. they of course were kind enough to invite me to screenings, all of which i had a conflict and i
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couldn't go to the premiere. i have never seen any of that and i wasn't allowed to talk about it for the longest time. i would do interviews, and they go, you cannot mention the muppet movie. >> jimmy: even that you're in it. >> don't talk about it. it was like a state secret. and finally, i was like, okay, this is making me crazy. i respect the decision but it's on imdb. the internet can talk about it and i can't talk about it. this is a really nice moment to get to see it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> with the crowd. [ applause ] it's nice. >> jimmy: surprises me that you haven't seen it and you sing very nicely in that, too. >> yeah. [ laughter ] lip synching. >> jimmy: really? >> i didn't know we were going to be singing. i'm like, this is the role of my lifetime. and they delivered the script, all in red paper, top secret, nothing could get out. and i looked in, i had no lines. i thought, this is getting
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better by the second and it said i was part of a musical number, i thought jason segal and walter would be doing things and we would have to dance, that's great. i get there, i go to the dressing room and the, trailer, and there's a knock and the director with a boom box goes, okay, there's the song, you need to learn the words to that. 30 minutes from shooting. he's like, uh-huh. so, i -- i learned -- it's not that complicated. >> jimmy: you would think you'd get more than a half an hour. >> you would. hollywood wants spontaneity. >> jimmy: that's the muppets. and walter, you are the -- we can say it now, you're the walter ego is what you are. >> jason and this puppet are really close friends and this is kind of a -- i guess it's kind of a realization part for each of them. in the way, why do they connect so well?
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because on the inside, jason is a bit of a muppet and on the inside, walter is a bit of a man. and i was that man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: congratulations. you are kind of -- you are a man and a mup met. you are like a -- you're a humpet. [ applause ] very good to have you here. thank you so much for coming by. the movie is called "the muppets," it's in theaters now. jim parsons, everybody. we'll be right back with taylor kitsch. two medium cappuccinos! let's show 'em what a breakfast with wholegrain fiber can do. one coffee with room, one large mocha latte. medium macchiato, light hot chocolate hold the whip, and two espressos, make one a double. she's full and focused! [ barista ] i have two cappuccinos, one coffee with room, one large mocha latte, a medium macchiato, a light hot chocolate, hold the whip and two espressos, one with a double shot. hehe, that's not the coffee talking. [ female announcer ] start your day with kellogg's frosted mini-wheats cereal.
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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. still to come, my morning jacket. how are you doing over there,
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cory? everything all right? >> yeah, the lights are bright. but it's -- >> jimmy: they're the only things. [ laughter ] hey -- you -- [ laughter ] you know our next guest tonight from "friday night lights" and "x-men origins: wolverine." he has a new movie of his own in which he plays a civil war soldier who is transported to mars. it's based on a true story, cory. it's called "john carter" and it opens marches 9th, to get in line right now. please say hello to taylor kitsch. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm well, thank you. >> jimmy: you're a canadian. >> yeah, rumor has it. >> jimmy: that's true? you were able to get in? >> barely, actually. literally barely. >> jimmy: what happened? >> i just came back from africa like two days ago and then wicked long story short, i had
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to go through probably four incredible steps to just get through here so it was -- >> jimmy: we're glad -- i'm glad you got through. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what part of canada are you from? >> a small town outside vancouver called colona. there you go. yes. >> jimmy: does it smell like cologne there? >> one person. >> jimmy: how many people live there? >> it's huge now. it's pretty big now but it was more or less like a small town inside colona and it's like a one-light town, really. >> jimmy: what do you do there for fun? >> what did i do? we could steal golf balls. literally steal golf balls, jump over into the golf course and sell them in egg cartons. >> jimmy: to the people that you stoll them from? >> yeah, absolutely. but i was like 7, so, you --
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>> jimmy: right you, you got to learn to steal sometime. [ laughter ] >> right. >> jimmy: did you play hockey? >> i did. >> jimmy: you did? you have to, right? >> yeah, right. 20 years. >> jimmy: wow, 20 years. so you really played hockey. you weren't -- 20 years? >> not kidding around. i had the whole stair owe typical frozen pond in the backyard, two older brothers, regardless, i was goalie. no matter what. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> made my own pads. head shots only, apparently. >> jimmy: nice. older brothers are bad. and you played -- what level did you get to? >> i play eed junior and a bit canadian university. pretty good level. but there was -- >> jimmy: you have all you've original teeth? >> that's a negative. >> jimmy: is that right? how many of those are fake that i'm looking at? >> all. every single one. >> jimmy: no way. they look pretty real. >> that's good. that's the point. >> jimmy: okay, all right. [ laughter ] >> no, i remember playing in
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this -- we would play in these small, small arenas and, you know, 2,500 people which is a lot when you are even 18, 19. >> jimmy: sure. >> but we would come out of the tunnel, warm up, you would get candy, bananas, chocolate bars thrown at you -- >> jimmy: delicious. >> pretty -- yeah. we didn't look at it that way. >> jimmy: you didn't? >> not a fun building to play in. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, there's so much tension and they just -- >> jimmy: how much tension could it be when they are throwing can candy? >> yeah, right. but there was something this one night, too, and it was our rivals and basically what happened, long story short, we were in this intense game, we were up, in their building so you can't win big in their building, first of all. they will make sure, they will intimidate you for the next game, right? >> jimmy: right. >> this line brawl breaks out. five on five. three forwards, two defensemen, two goalies, goalies didn't
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fight. i'm one of the forwards. and there's my two forwards, my brothers, really. i look over, they jump the boards so they don't have to fight. so it's five on three. everyone has their gloves off, helmets off. we played with these half visors. and so i was like a middleweight guy. didn't fight a lot but once in awhile. and five on three, i look across the ice, their heavy weight is looking at me. >> jimmy: great. >> literally calling me over. i'm doing a double take over to my guys -- >> jimmy: who are at the hot dog stand. >> eating the candy. so, i had to go fight this guy right in front of our bench. so, there's three refs, right, and four, five fights going on. so, you have to fight -- >> jimmy: they're fighting. >> no kidding. you have to fight way longer before they get to you. >> jimmy: i see. >> so, we broke each other's
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noses, we are drenched in bld. so, basically, we're so tired punching each other that he's -- he goes, you good? you good? [ laughter ] and i'm like -- i'm good, man. just hold on. we're both leaking terribly. >> jimmy: basically just dancing at this point. >> basically. waiting for the refs to come. it's like -- this intense fight broke out, it's silent now. >> jimmy: what happened to the two guys -- >> it gets good. >> jimmy: all right. >> so i'm down in the tunnel and it's intermission, getting my nose reset. these guys come down by me and i literally snapped because, you know, five on three, not what you want, really, from your teammates. so, the coach lost it on those guys. one guy got traded the next day and then another guy, i think he got cut and, yeah, it was -- >> jimmy: good. you have to fight along with your guys, right? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: that's that.
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and this is good training for this movie because this is a big deal, this movie. >> we think so. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean -- it looks like it's really good. it's like -- you go to mars -- >> i do. >> jimmy: you didn't shoot on the actual-mile-an-hour mars. >> no, we did. >> jimmy: what was mars like? did you get to travel around or did you just stay in the hotel? >> the hotel. just the hotel. i wouldn't believe. >> jimmy: who is john carter? >> john carter is a guy that -- when you meet him, his purpose, his cause, is gone. he goes to civil war to protect his family, which is, of course, back then, the only thing you had. and they're taken from him. and he gets through these events, gets transported to mars and this incredible journey that is more than character-driven happens within itself and these people that he meets, which is like a nomadic tribe, played by willem dafoe. >> jimmy: he plays the whole
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tribe? >> thousands of characters. he's really good. >> jimmy: congratulations on it. look forward to seeing it. it's called "john carter." it opens march 9th. it's a long way off from now. taylor kitsch, everybody. we'll be right back with music from my morning jacket. yeah, i'm married. es it matter?
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you'd do that for me? really? yeah, i'd like that. who are you talking to? uh, it's jake from state farm. unds like a really good deal. jake from state farm at three in the morning. who is t it's jake om state f farm. what are you wearing, jake from state farm? [ jake ] uh... khakis. she sounds hideous. well she's a guy, so... [ male announcer ] another reason more people stay with state farm. get to a better state. ♪
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>> jimmy: this is their new album. it's called "circuital." here with the song "outta my system," my my morning jacket. ♪ they told me not to smoke drugs but i wouldn't listen never thought i'd get caughtorn. ♪ they told me not to smoke drugs but i wouldn't listen never thought i'd get caught and wind up in prison ♪ ♪ chalk it up to youth but young age i ain't dissin' i guess i just had to get it out of my system ♪ ♪ outta my system outta my system oh lord i'd never do it now i know what i ain't missin ♪ ♪ glad i went and got it all out of my system the lust of youth versus
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marriage and security ♪ ♪ i'm glad i'm here now but just between you and me i had to get out and make the deals ♪ ♪ and learn to know how it feels but that it ain't real outta my system oh outta my system ♪ ♪ there's a way to have it all you know i ain't kidding some things i know i'll never get out of my system ♪ ♪ if you don't live now you ain't even tryin' and then you're on your way to a mid-life ♪ ♪ crisis live it out any way you feel you can feel it in your bones but try to deny it wipe it off your ♪ ♪ face but your eyes won't hide it you knew it all along but never made it clear ♪
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♪ they told me not to steal cars said i'd wind up in prison ♪ ♪ thought i knew it all yeah i wouldn't listen ♪ ♪ chalk it up to young age but youth i ain't dissin' i guess i just had to get it out of my system ♪ ♪ outta my system oh outta my system glad i did it all now i know what ♪ ♪ i ain't missing glad i went and got it all out of my system lord i'd never do it now ♪ ♪ i know what i ain't missin glad i went and got it all out of my system oh oh ♪ ♪ lord i'd never do it now
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i know what i ain't missin' glad i went and got it all out of my system ♪ ♪ oh oh ♪ oh oh ♪ oh >> jimmy: i want to thank jim parsons, taylor kitsch. i want to apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. tomorrow night -- matthew morrison, maggie "q" and ye yelawolf. this is their new album. "circuital" is out now. playing us off the air with "first light" -- see the full performance at jimmykimmellive.com -- once again, my morning jacket. good night! ♪
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♪ ♪ first light tonight first light tomorrow first light this morning ♪ ♪ first light this evening first light tonight been lookin' back down thru the ages ♪ ♪ first i was an ancient then i was an infant now i am alive been holdin' out ♪ ♪ searchin' for somethin' somethin' to carry me over the sunset to dawns early light ♪ ♪ first light tonight

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